Psychopath's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[-The Guardian-]

Pretentious, plagiarised & poorly animated

Let's start with the plot; the plot surrounds this "guardian" who's looking for a successor, because why? Why does he need a successor? Is he dying? What prompted him to do this & why is it at all necessary? How about some fucking exposition? Furthermore, why does he check someone's heartbeat to detect their valor? It would have been more intelligent if he had brought a squeegee with him & collected the sweat off the kids forehead just so he could assimilate the kids pheromones, but I guess that wouldn't have been as poetic now would it? Wait, did I say "poetic"? Sorry, I meant "pretentious".

So after he checks his pulse for his valor he decides to take the kid flying over the sea & through the mountains during winter to have a party with all the other aliens... Can anyone say "The Snowman" or "shameless plagiarism"?

The biggest hole of them all is the antagonist, I'm expected to believe that he just sat there the whole time during the guardian's absence just so that he could try & corrupt the guardian's successor, because why? Ignoring the sheer lack of exposition & motivation, this has to be the dumbest tactic for tying to attack your enemy ever.

Let's analyze this, surely the guardian couldn't have found his chosen successor on his first try, if that was conceivable then why would he have to check your pulse to evaluate you? So obviously this took him more than one try to accomplish. Additionally, let's consider the matter of distance, obviously he had to travel far & wide to find each possible successor because he chose a secluded area to make camp. The antagonist has every opportunity to drag his ass over to the pine tree & steal the oracle or whatever it is. So, why doesn't he? If the guardian is his enemy then why not strike when he's most vulnerable? He can't possibly be scared of the guardian, he outright assaulted and took him down with a spear within the first few seconds of their fight. Why does he give a shit about corrupting the guardian's successor? Sorry, but 'adding insult to injury' is only as poetic as it is intelligent, by which I mean it's pretentious; why would he expect the kid to listen to him? He ruined his party and potentially killed his buddies, the kid couldn't possibly find any benefit in listening to a guy who had already fucked him once, furthermore, the reasoning he gave to him is just retarded; "Take it, think of the power!" doesn't make any sense in this context, it's not like the kid has used it at all before and understands the depth of it's power, so the temptation aspect is completely absent. Additionally, if the antagonist really does have an understanding of the the oracle's depth & dynamic of power, why would he try to hand it over to the successor of his enemy and not try and take it for himself? I would understand if the author was against using dialogue to convey exposition, giving effort to try & keep the plot implied through visuals for the artistic challenge such as "The Masquerade" by Pahgawk, but NWL gives dialogue to the antagonist through text so that excuse is out the window immediately. Exposition would be nice.

Another thing I hate about this short is the protagonist. He's some useless fuck who does nothing & conveys no personality traits of interest; he's a Mary Sue character. I'd get about as emotionally invested with a used condom as I would with this kid, I wouldn't want him as a guardian of any kind considering how he stood idly by & watched as his sole defender got roflstomped & killed in front of him, which was the point where I stopped giving a shit about the protagonist's safety entirely; not only is he a schmuck & a vapid Mary Sue, he's also a coward. Fuck him.

The animation is crap, most of it is composed of 3 frame loops & unfinished ones at that, I think the core problem isn't the tool in use but rather the person using it; others such as TheSwain have shown competence in using the brush tool for animation, but NWL obviously struggled in using it & it shows; big gaps between frames & no shading to speak of. I recommend the line tool for future use.

NeroGeist responds:

Haha, I've been waiting for a review like this, didn't expect it to be so long though. Well here are my two cents on this. You sir, look into things too deeply! I mean seriously, I get that there are plot holes in it, I get that some things don't make sense, but I guess your too uptight for that kind of stuff. What I was expecting from this was some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. All I got out of this was "I recommend the line tool for future use." Yeah, could have told me that BEFORE your novel of bitching about "oooh this thing doesn't make sense! I'm going to bitch and moan about it and make the author feel like a dumbass!"

But, regardless, you are correct on a lot of things. Yes, my lines are crap. Yes, the story doesn't make sense if you look at it in a realistic perspective. But think this, a lot of cartoons don't make sense if you look at it in a realistic perspective.

Well, I admire your trolling skills and view on cartoons, but in the end, you lost.

Have a nice day!

-Nick

[Gangsta Apple]

We heard you liked reviews so we put reviews into

Since this didn't have any reviews yet, I decided to write one for you so you'd have one.

So are Turtle and Mista Apple, Gangsta Apple and Two Wiggers a part of the same continuity? I see that the Apple's boss was also a character featured in Two Wiggers Find NPH, same clothes and everything.

Pliskin99 responds:

Thanks for the review haha and yeah, I used that character in alot of my cartoons.

[2 Guys & a Jigsaw Puzzle]

No hidden connotation huh?

I guess that would be true considering how you basically threw a cross in my face, but not so considering how it's "Two guys and a jigsaw puzzle and nothing more", to say that there's no greater connotation would be an insult to my intelligence as there obviously is; it's a commentary on the ignorance of religion "budding in where it doesn't belong", i.e. forcing a piece in the shape of a cross into the center of the jigsaw puzzle intended for the ultimate theory, saying that religion has no place being brought into a society dominated by science, furthermore no place in science itself. It goes a little far by saying it somehow ruins science simply by being present, but whatever, the vocal majority of atheists these days are turning out to be just as unreasonable as any given Dogma, gotta love how you made the theist into a dim witted douche bag. It's basic anti-religion propaganda.

[MLP: Pinkie's Cupcakes]

Lame

Really the only thing about this worthwhile is the loading screen because that has literally the best animation quality, it's almost as if the animation quality suitable for 30 seconds was compromised to fit a 5 minute video. The motion tweening sucks on such a level that it reminds you that whenever the camera zooms in, and by that I mean the movie clip symbols expanding, the height and width proportions warp beyond the dimensional understanding of a 2 year old, but still beneath that of a 5 year old. A lot of the time the background shake, jarringly so, out of alignment with the stage revealing little bits and pieces of white in each and every corner for every new scene.

What really makes this the unoriginal and effortless piece of shit that it is would be the fact that the whole way through it piggy backs on the shoulders of A Nightmare Before Christmas by using it's signature song in context to what amounts to as nothing more than torture porn and guro.

And hell, if you can't create anymore interesting scenarios than what the song was made for or, hell, even have events properly synchronize with the song, don't use the song for your shitty snuff film.

And really what happens is just dumb and uncreative filler, just a pile of rocks and a pale of what I think is ice cream and that burlap sack popping up whenever the torture scenes don't work in context of the song and instead of adding intensity to the situation, they actually remove intensity by being non contributory by being nothing and pretentious by using them as a segway for shitty slow motion, as if it's that deeply significant. But when does the fucking song fit into context? The song describes nothing of torture or mutilation, not even in metaphor, it's just low quality work, again, piggy backing on high quality work and the fact that you built the flash around the song really shows given how half of the song is devoted to scraping the barrel for material such as A NEARLY MOTIONLESS FUCKING BURLAP SACK and it makes the actual content intended for the movie drag on for longer than it needed.

The supposed shock value is lacking substance as well, I've seen the BMP Olympics Finale video, Goosh Goosh, ED's Offended page, 2 girls 1 cup and Goatse. I can't say that I'm impressed with this shit; I've seen a video clip of a guy getting sold off to an overweight gang leader so that he can get his colon ripped to shreds, his spine ripped out of his back by said lardass before finally hitting the floor and bleeding from random parts of his head that never sustained injury.

The content is empty and vapid, the animation is shitty, there's a huge overuse of filters to compensate for the shitty animation and it relies entirely on a song that has no business in this context that actually ended up making the main content worse because it required pointless padding so that the animation would fill the timeline in conjunction with the soundtrack.

tiarawhy responds:

Thanks it's exactly what I was aiming for :D!

[Two Wiggers meet Weezy]

Hm...

I see the show is slowly turning into Beavis and Butthead, given how they watch FLV's of a music video and start critiquing it in B&B fashion.

Odd, I feel that it was kind of pointless picketing at Weezy without giving his issue of being outcasted for his romance song resolution. People just tell him to fuck off, murder him and the episode ends with John Mendoza complaining about piss on the toilet seat. It just feels like the episode was concluded only half way through. I know that usually the episodes end off pointlessly, but when they do they have some closure. Here it just sorta has a Sopranos ending where the episode ends in mid sentence only without the mid sentence.

Beyond that I have no actual technical complaints.

Pliskin99 responds:

Thanks. Yeah I havent thought of it until now but I can see how it could be like Beavis and Butthead. Im actually really busy right now so I cant make any new episodes for a little, which is why I havent uploaded one in a while. I'll try to make one soon and thanks again

[Two Wiggers Kill Somebody]

I enjoyed the two wiggers series up to this point

It's a funny little series, the only thing I don't like is the new outfit for wigger that looks like Patrick, which is odd because he swaps between his original and new outfit between fractions of the Piff man scene, between the points he's walking across the room he's wearing his new outfit, but when he's just standing in a door way he's wearing his original outfit. Quite the odd inconsistency.

Those are pretty much the only complaints I have, other than the grey blocks they use for guns, you go through the trouble of photoshopping pictures of hats, clothing & dildos but not actual guns? I wouldn't recommend photoshopping a gun into your movies from a JPEG though, I'd recommend rotoscoping it instead so that way the gun will be made of vectors and not pixels so they'll blend into the rest of the scene.

I really like how you bring in the uncle from the mob, who's nephew's a blood, it brings a sharp, hilarious contrast of what gangs used to be like in the 1930's and how they are in the new millennium.

Two Wiggers is like the new Beebo, the animation is intentionally crappy and the humor has no restraint, and because of the cheap nature of the animation, it doesn't take you very long to create new episodes, so I can regularly expect episodes of this series.

If I could help out with your series, I would, but I'm currently in a bit of a bind right now. Maybe some time later. However, if you want a voice actor, I'm here for you.

Pliskin99 responds:

Dude thank you so much I love you!!!

Haha but seriously, the one thing I love is when someone posts a huge review for one of my movies.

Thanks for pointing out the part about the wigger's outfit changing. I didnt even notice haha. I'll be sure to change it ASAP. Thanks for all the nice stuff you said haha. I know it's a stupid series but I do put effort into it. So yeah thanks, and I like making them so I'll keep doing them. The only problem is school gets in the way. Thanks again.

[Dream Slate]

Meh

A guy takes sleeping pills, because why? The utter lack of explanation as to why he decides to do this as a method of detouring his writers block is nonsense if he's supposed to flesh out an already conceived concept. If that's not the case, then was he expecting to get ideas from his dream? Because nothing more than a few random fight scenes occurred. Sometimes you can conceive a coherent story from your dreams, but dreams characterize your psychology with abstract concepts, not an actual abstract concept; not relating to you.

I can't imagine that based from his dream that his comic would amount to much, again, because all his dream amounted to was a clusterfucked fight sequence in which he fires bullets out of his finger tips.

The concept is good but the delivery is empty and nothing interesting happens, and these are dreams for Christ sake, you could have anything happen, have him get into a fist fight with the moon, or meet Cthulhu or fucking something other than a bunch of nameless dummies running at the protagonist only to get blown away into the vortex that is off frame.

The artwork and animation, at first, looks beautiful, but it's overshadowed by the choppy animation that takes effect immediately when he decides to take his sleeping pills. But after he descended into sleep, the art quality receded, so of course my first expectation was that you were going to utilize the draw back in detail so that the animation aspect would become easier as a result, so that way you could make the animation more fluent and vivid; not using the same frame to compensate for other frames in the timeline, but rather filling in every gap between frames.

I was wrong, the animation quality only compensated for the lack of detail to very little to no degree, so what's the point in dropping the detail quality if you're not doing it in favor for the animation? I could understand if it were like the same kind of format as Fantasia, where the animation and artwork start off simple and then gradually climb their way into being complex and structured, but no such thing occurs in this movie.

After the craptacular action sequence, the protagonist awakens to find a near blank page sitting on his drafting table before smiling at it, almost makes me think that the solution he found to his issue of writers block wasn't to get ideas from his dreams, but rather, to stay asleep constantly to avoid the work all together.

I think I understand the reason why the animation is so choppy; you're using brush tool. The tool itself isn't the problem, but it does tell me that you're inexperienced in using Flash and how you're structuring your animations. Try using pencil tool or line tool, it'll give you more of a firm grip and better foundation than brush tool.

I'll be expecting you to regurgitate this critique as soon as possible as you had with GodRustang, with moronic replies such as "Disguising your hateful and false opinions in the form of a critique does not make you smart or a voice worth hearing." implies that you take critique from no one. GodRustang wasn't being hateful in his review, he/she was being dismissive. And no, GodRustang never outright said that Newgrounds upholds a moral standing, only that he/she does. Stop exaggerating.

And yes, sleeping pills = drugs, what did you think they were? Pharmaceuticals are no different from illegal narcotics, the only difference being their legality. Yes GodRustang was being an idiot for bashing your movie on those grounds, as if to say you were advocating drug use when you weren't, but that doesn't excuse belittling an opinion for being an opinion, or the person advocating it.

[Two Wiggers get laid]

I like this little series of yours.

One of the few problems I have is that there are no subtitles; most of the characters are unintelligible all the time.

Also the way the music is programmed kinda blows; the music at the end loops on and on forever and when I rewind to the beginning the end music bleeds over into the rest of the movie; Whether you have it on Start or Event mode, it needs to be fixed to Stream.

Also what's really fucking ghetto is that there's no replay button, nor does the movie loop back around to the beginning frame, which sucks because if I want to watch it again I have to either A; right click; rewind from the drop menu or B; close out the movie and open it again. The latter obviously because of the afore mentioned audio settings.

If you really want the music to perpetually play by the end of the movie, put it in stream mode, take the frames containing the song, put them into a Movie Clip Symbol and drop said M.C.S. at the end frame on the main timeline, so that way it'll loop infinitely without spilling over into the rest of the movie when I drop menu; rewind or better yet, click the currently none existent replay button.

Controls would be nice too; having the ability to frame jump, rewind/fast foward, pause and play without having to use the ghetto ass default drop menu in flash, which can be programmed out by putting "Stage.showMenu = false;" into the actionscript on the first frame in the timeline, so as to not fuck up your movie control settings when people right click.

The positive things I have to say about the movie is this; it takes me back to when Flash movies were at their infancy and didn't sport constant ongoing professionalism in animation, nor was such professionalism demanded. Back when there was no established standard of what was ideal or should be regarded as ideal. It just simply existed for the purpose of giving individuals the power, ability and outlet to create their own material regardless of quality; essentially, everyone was equal; back when you had the freedom to be shitty, without being told that you suck at life for it.

Of course we ended up taking that beauty and turned it into a giant, ongoing pissing match and class war; crushed our sense of freedom with our sense of standard. I kind of miss the days when I lacked the cynicism that I have now, to universally enjoy everything that I watch.

But then again, this cynicism isn't bad, after all, it's what gives us our concept and grasp of quality, and it shows our knowledge and understanding over the craft, hence this review.

Although I do miss that sense of total freedom this medium had when it first boomed, I can't say that it's a good thing to revert back to it; the future is forwards, not backwards. Forgive me, I have too much sentiment for crap.

Pliskin99 responds:

Haha dude dont apologize! I love huge ass reviews.

Thanks alot for all the advice. I'm pretty new at animating. It sounds that you got the point of this cartoon, it's just for fun and laughs. Nothing more.

But thanks alot for the review dude, I'm still working on becoming a good animator but I'll get there eventually.

[Madness Abrogation]

Great... for the most part...

I noticed that Hank saved Sanford at the end, it seems that your characters become nicer and nicer along the way.

I always figured that Hank would have ditched Sanford and saved himself in the event of that a life threatening explosion was about to ignite. Perhaps his regeneration in Madness 9 changed his personality? His mannerisms are different.

Also, about his intelligence being lowered, I'm not seeing it; between Sanford and Hank, Hank comes up with all the smart ideas; removing the Auditors halo; activating the spikes so that the possessed subordinate would be rendered an invalid; grabbing the mini-gun and blowing absolutely everything away with it.

While on the flip side, Sanford, supposedly the more intelligent between the two, always comes up with the stupid ideas; when they come to the spiked bars, instead of simply shooting the Auditors subordinates through the bars, he decides to lower them before shooting them, giving them the chance to actually hurt him while also locking Hank, the tank with legs, out from behind him.

My point is, for a retard, Hank is more intelligent then most of the other characters.

I kinda hate the ending, to be honest; there doesn't seem to be a conclusion and when I say conclusion, I mean no ending, not to the series but to the episode. The Auditor explodes after absorbing Tricky and the scene pans out to the replay screen. It feels like it was cut short.

To be honest, I really don't see how the Madness series could perpetuate any longer given how the Sheriff, Tricky, Jesus and the Auditor are all dead and gone forever, that is unless a fucked up fusion between the Auditor and Tricky ushered in the explosion, which I want to doubt but I foresee probably happening; I'm guessing the "Oh God no" warning signal for when the Auditor absorbed Tricky was more than just a warning that they would have exploded as a result. Based on that, I take it that the Clown has been revived?

Honestly, I think it would have been a better idea for Hank and Sanford to have reclaimed Deimos' and Jesus' bodies and put them in the regeneration chamber and gave them both enhancements after the Auditor retreated so that their efforts would have been made easier given that would have doubled the number of members in their group and lessoned the overall effort. But I guess their staying dead has to do with the plot.

I searched high and low for foreshadowing in this episode as to what the next one would be all about. It appears that Deimos is the next villain;

"Wanted: Dead"

" 'Deimos'

Murderer, liar, thief, conspirator, traitor, smoker. Can not reformat."

Yet I see no wanted posters surrounding Sanford, Hank or even Jesus. I'm probably seeing more than there actually is to it.

[Warriors of the Portal]

Bleh

I hate to break the consensus... well actually, no, I don't. You see, unlike everybody else in the fucking world, I'm not about to throw endless praise at something I didn't think met a standard.

Here's the thing, the fights, with the exception of the fight between Gigantor & MindChamber, were all uninteresting, unentertaining, ended way too fast & sometimes didn't even meet a conclusion. Such as the fight between Hank & Nene, what happened? How did Nene overpower & kill Hank? Did Hank die at all? Was it Hank that got squashed underneath Mindchambers hand? Was it Hank who was defeated by P-Bot? What ever happened to Sera & how did P-Bot come to be defeated? Was it Sera who defeated him & was in turn killed by the Tankmen? What was Larry's fate? What happened to Darnell? Where did they go? Did they fight each other? Did either of them fight Hank? Did Hank fight Sera at any given point? Why are there so many plotholes? What the fuck is going on that I'm NOT getting to see?

Any interesting fight only receives 15 seconds of screen time before cutting to another scene entirely for 15 seconds before rinsing and repeating. I don't like that, I don't like being left on a cliff hanger to wonder what the fight was like when I'm supposed to be seeing first hand what the fight is like. Famous and beloved characters like Hank and Sera only receive a mere cameo of 5 seconds before disappearing for the rest of the movie's duration to make room for mascot characters who, albeit get more time than any other character, barely have any screen time at all.

I understand that this movie is a short, but the only fight that was interesting to watch was the one between Mindchamber & Gigantor because you actually got to watch them brawl; the rest of it was like a montage scene from a Rocky movie; only ever showing us a fraction of what really happened. Only in the Rocky movies, it gave us the best parts of what happened during that time, where you just gave us barely the beginning of each fight before showing us the beginning of another.

I understand that the rest of the world is easily impressed by this, for no other reason than the CGI. However, I am never impressed by 3D graphics compressed into an FLV file, however good they look. As afor mentioned by other users before me, the action is slow paced for the most part; characters jump, punch & kick as though they were submerged under water.

I also have one other problem, what's the point of altering the course of a fight, say like the fight between Fcuk+Castle Crasher, if it doesn't alter the end result of the movie? It's not like I'll end up with Darnell+Hank brawling at the end instead of Gigantor+Mindchamber, so why not give options to determine who wins which fight if it'll continue following the same linear storyline it would with or without those options?

It was nicely presented and showed promise at first, but then it just took a dive. I did enjoy the erotic scene A.K.A. the 2girls1cup reaction video[s] parody.

ALL ACHIEVEMENTS:

HAIL TO THE KING;

Click the link that leads to the Pico Day page at the beginning menu.

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER;

When Darnell+Alien Homonid are fighting, mash down your arrow keys & the Q-W-E-A-S-D-F-R-Z-X-C-V keys as much as you can with your left hand.

CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE;

Same principle as the combo breaker achievement, with the exception on hitting the arrow keys; that's not necessary.

EROTIC BONUS;

Click Sera's icon twice in the character bios menu.

RT I LIKE IT;

When Gigantor and Mindchamber enter the open arena, press the Y key to jump to the conclusion of their fight & hold down the G key until Gigantor wins.

SCREW YOU ASIMOV;

When Gigantor and Mindchamber enter the open arena, press the Y key to jump to the conclusion of their fight & hold down the M key until Mindchamber wins.

CAMEO 1;

When Red Baron & Gigantor fight, click Barons sword.

CAMEO 2;

Click on the bug that appears beneath the sofa in the Erotic Scene.

CAMEO 3;

Click Baron's cleaver at the Erotic scene.

WTF? FTW!;

Click Pico's head when he appears at the end.