All 54 game Reviews


Halloween Hunt Halloween Hunt

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

December is the wrong time of year to submit a Halloween game. You may want to check your calendar to verify.



the NG Calculator the NG Calculator

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

By the way, if your results are returning a value of NaN, you need to remove things like commas from the equation. Commas in ActionScript are used for things like declaring a series of variables or creating an array, so when you type in a comma, it doesn't register as a string but rather you're telling the interpreter that a value like, say, "2,509" for your B/P score is actually two separate values; 2 and 509.

Scottmale24 didn't anticipate this and didn't optimize his code to accept commas as a string, only as raw script input, which means commas are taken as code by the interpreter. Had he programmed it to take string data rather than raw numbers, that would allow him to convert the string back into a numeric value while removing string values like letters and punctuation marks so the raw number data could be plugged back into the calculator without error.

When an SWF file returns a value of NaN, you've probably entered a value that the interpreter doesn't understand or you've accidentally entered in actual ActionScript code that undermines the program's design. You can actually cause Flash to redefine variable datatypes by giving it inappropriate values like letters, which will cause Flash to redefine a mathematical variable to a string. This is because Flash is capable of accepting what's called "implicit programming", where if a variable is left undefined in datatype and you plug in a value, the interpreter will attempt to fill in the blanks and assign a datatype for you.


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Fleeing the Complex Fleeing the Complex

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Holy shit, it's like 2005 again. Right in the nostalgia.


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PuffballsUnited responds:

How..? The first game came out in 2008 haha


Renamon x Guilmon FLASH ANIMATION Renamon x Guilmon FLASH ANIMATION

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Somebody's being really touchy with criticism. Relax.

Look, it's a good loop but that doesn't make it a game; when Weebl uploads loops, they're categorized under movies, not games. Just because it has different speed settings & a playhead, that doesn't mean it's a game, I say this because I cannot interact with the contents of the SWF file. Maybe if there were different positions you could select from, it might count as a game but it's only a loop. It's too late now though, if you were to reupload this, you might get a lower score than before for reposting. First impressions matter a great deal.

What concerns me even more than that is the lack of a preloader, I got to stare at a blank white screen while the movie loaded. That immediately sheds off a bunch of points for presentation because I didn't even know if the movie would work. For future reference, here's a place where you can get preloaders for free:

http://www.newgrounds.com/downloads/preloaders/

They even have one that will autoplay for you & it only adds 11 kilobytes to your SWF file.

For what it is, the loop works but not perfectly. I noticed that the color on the ying-yang symbol on her left thigh loses color in one of the frames.

Her tail does this odd snapping motion where it bends inward suddenly & then regains shape throughout the remainder of the loop. I know that part was intentional but it was still distracting in how sudden it is. My recommendation is to use the onion tool to bridge the gap because as of this moment, it appears to be a graphical glitch to the naked eye, much like the actual graphical glitch on her thigh.

I also want to mention that I noticed that when her entire body bobs up and down, her breasts stay in place as if they're detached.

I am also not a fan of the way her back claws change shape throughout the loop despite there never being any real changes in perspective or position.

You may want to take a closer look at her right knee as it changes shape and expands vertically & it then deflates as if water were filling it and pouring back out.

Not to mention her right shoulder appearing and disappearing at what appears to be random at first but is revealed to be unfortunate upon closer inspection. If you reduced the number of times she stroked herself by a factor of maybe one, it wouldn't be so jarring. The other solution would have been to add more frames but that's more work and work is hard.

Finally, I find this more hilarious to watch than I do a turn on. Reason #1; her constantly changing facial expression. Reason #2; the rapid motion of her masturbating as she rides cowgirl on Guilmon. Reason #3; the ridiculous sound effects, perfectly synchronized though they may be, are exaggerated to the point of self-parody. Reason #4; her blushing blends in with her fur color and it looks ridiculous. I at first thought this an attempt at shading the slope in her face when I realize that the color was not a duller shade of yellow but a bland shade of red. Reason #5; despite having plenty of fluid appear on the penis, poorly I might add, there is none appearing on Renamon's crotch at all. In fact, I'm going to critique that now since I've just noticed this:

There is no mass to the fluid nor is there any light distortion or shadows. It's just a transparent color of blue set against a solid color of red with a brighter shade of blue for outlines, which shouldn't appear at all since it's a liquid.

Although this loop has smooth animation & completes a perfect cycle, the animation in it is actually quite bad as a lot of things lose & suddenly regain shape from beginning to end. Each frame of this on its own would look really good if not for the frames adjacent to each of them.

Lastly, I don't understand why so many of these sex loops come equipped with different speed settings because the default playspeed is already ridiculously high paced & it doesn't actually change anything apart from showing us how much animation work wasn't done when you play the video without filler frames.

Then finally the one thing everybody notices from the get-go. The blank, white strips on both sides of the movie. This does a whole new level of damage to the presentation since it breaks the atmosphere. I suggest fixing this by entering in the proper dimensions of the movie under the publication details or whatever the fuck is wrong with it.

Overall, this had a lot more potential than what was granted to it.

I know, I know, after reading the only well written & thorough criticism you've received so far, you're going to look through my movies, cherry pick the worst one you can find, no matter how outdated, & try to rub that smugly in my face as a way to dismiss my criticism. I know this because that's what all people like you end up doing. Having written that in advance, if you should go ahead and do it anyway, that means I win. Yes, I found a way to win and everybody still loses.


MrPloxy responds:

Ayyya, why you feel so superior? Like all High and Mighty. With all due respect, I didn't read any of that cuz it's too long. I only read the First part and i can already expect everything else that you wrote. It's Basically this : 'Look, You're new here and We value Criticism, I like your works and we can use more of them, oh and you got this wrong, and this, and this, and this, You're basically shit dude, kinda. now Im going to assume that you're one of those pricks who hate criticism, and throw everything i got at you, heck i even know what you're gonna do next after you read my Long Written 'Criticism' , Damn im so good". Seriously im done with these kinds of Reviews, Where the reviewer is against the Artist (in ANY FCKN WAY). Really, just focus on my creations, You don't have to comment on how Bigger your Ego is than Mine. Cuz this is gonna Be ENDLESS. As in, people gonna see this and they gonna hate hate hate, like you you you.


WHALE SIMULATOR WHALE SIMULATOR

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Very clever, using a bunch of gradient circles to simulate 3D motion. It even looks like genuine swimming if you move your cursor in a figure eight motion.

It's too bad that this doesn't amount to much more than a tech demo, otherwise it would drown out most of the other submissions uploaded today.


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SeanFirst responds:

Thanks a lot for the feedback :D!
But it's kind of the point that it is... well... pointless and just fun in a so bad it's good kinda way haha :D


Portal Panic Portal Panic

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Alright, to those who don't know how to get the gold portal or how to beat P-Bot, let me break it down.

You get to the gold portal by changing to Salad Fingers and walking on the invisible pathway to the gold portal.

When fighting P-Bot as Salad Fingers, deflect his missiles using Salad's finger puppet attack; do not confuse this for the freezing attack where Salad waves his arms about. Only use the freezing attack to put distance between you and P-Bot so that you'll be in range for him to fire a missile at you. Be sure to close the gap when he does fire it, however, because the missile will not simply shoot straight back at him and will hit the floor before P-Bot comes anywhere close to it if you're far away enough.


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Animal Puncher Animal Puncher

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

I like how most of the people both defending and yelling at this game think it's a comedy when it's obviously written as a drama. Nothing indicates that this is meant to be funny nor does anything indicate that the blonde kid isn't supposed to be a sociopath. In fact, since everyone keeps mentioning that killing animals has the potential to lead one to commit murder lends to the idea that this is meant to be a character study regarding the makings of a serial killer, especially since the blonde kid eventually murders a park ranger at one point and lies about what happened. The irony is that the people making the complaint of this having an impact on some Jeff Weise knockoff didn't get up to the point where your nerdy, sociopathic buddy decides to kill you and you have to defend yourself in a fist fight with him.

That being said, this game is not devoid of flaws or just flawed logic. For instance, why are the kids even punching animals with their fists? Wouldn't it be more efficient to hit an animal with a melee weapon like a stick or slash it with a knife or throw a projectile at it like a rock? I sincerely doubt some high school kid is gonna kill a full grown man, a man that allegedly had a gun mind you, with his bare fists. In fact, it would've added a layer to the character study if the blonde nerd gave you a knife during one of the killing sprees or Hell, have the blonde nerd fight you with a kitchen knife to justify the difficulty spike from fighting a wolf and a bear to him. You'd think that a guy who had problems with ramming his knuckles into his carpal bones and not being noticed by his parents because of it would at least wear gloves or some shit.

That's another thing about this game that's also stupid, you're somehow able to take on a wolf and a bear with your fisticuffs but barely hold your ground against another human being who has the same level as strength as you if not less considering how he's not depicted as fighting neither the wolf or the bear.

There's also the occasional anatomy error; for instance, your character is depicted as having six fingers when the blonde kid hands him the shrooms, every other time he's depicted with five... well four if you discount the thumb.

Another thing that irks me is that half the choices you get in the dialog yield the same response, I thought the whole point of the TellTale gaming formula was to give depth to the characters you play as and talk to by showing how they react to different responses in conversations, if it weren't for the punch-out segments this'd essentially be just a click and watch.

All in all it's playable and it has good elements to it but the dialog choices are underwhelming and overall, it just wasn't as fleshed out as it should have been. It also doesn't help that the array of stupid shit bogs down what could have been a profound game.


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AustinBreed responds:

I never tried to make a drama. This game is closer to a comedy than anything else.


Super Bunny Showcase Super Bunny Showcase

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Oh I hate games that wanna use the shift key, can you please change that to a lettered key or the space bar or some shit?


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Naughty Ladies Naughty Ladies

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Protip: hold down the tab key for success and great justice.



Crushing Spree Crushing Spree

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Oh don't get me wrong, the game is mostly good although hit detection is very clunky and can miss their intended targets a lot and you have to grind like Hell to maximize your items. Really though, when you get down to it this is "replay value: the game", the only thing it's missing to augment it's replayability is the lack of medals to display your feats.

However, the thing that really warrants only a score of 1.5 stars is the fact that you cannot kill the large tank on level twelve. Oh it can die, just not by your hand. What do I mean by that? Well, whenever an enemy tank tries to leave the stage it takes damage for it, some of them will even die outright upon touching the border. For those of you who don't even know what a stage is, what I'm basically saying is that if a tank tries to disappear from the screen through the top of the level, it explodes. Getting the mega-tank to go up there to inflict self damage is the only way to kill it and best yet, you can't get it to happen on purpose, it can only happen by accident.

I tried every effective weapon against it, nothing hurts it, not the Heavy Canon, not the Sniper, not the Laser and not the Shotgun. I'll admit I never got the chance to actually hit the damn thing with either the Chaingun or the Light canon but good fucking luck trying to get past its personal army of every variety of tank this game has with what little health you can maintain whilst attempting to bumrush past the massive swarm of enemy tanks because despite what you think, guerrilla tactics will not avail you.

Mind you, I have $259,770.00 I can't spend because I bought every upgrade each chasis and turret had available. There wasn't some super expensive upgrade that would've made the difference that I didn't buy because such an upgrade doesn't exist; there is no way to kill that fucker through mere brute force and no, luring it next to a missile cache as you ignite the cache doesn't inflict damage to it and neither does the "confusion" phenomena where the other tanks will occasionally decide to attack the biggest one, that means strategy is completely out the window and no viable option for killing it even exists. The only way to kill the bastard is through sheer, dumb as fuck luck. Have fun with that, shithead.


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