I'm thinking about going into stand up comedy. This is my shit bit, be honest and tell me if you like it or not.

I love Colorado in the winter, it snow's, you have snow fights, you eat candy canes, you build snowmen, you make snowangels. During the summer, the dogs shit. You have shit fights, you eat shit canes, you build shitmen and you make shitbitch's. Sometimes they even come up with shitty versions of christmas carols. Ever hear of Frosty the Snowman? Well take Stinky the Shitman for example, he's made of shit so he treats you like shit. He calls all his little fans little shits. Instead of a pipe he has a spliff and instead of a black top hat he has a purple one with a feather and he sits there demanding that you make a shitbitch. Ever hear of Charlie's Angels? Well we suck so all we have is Shitman's angels, which he calls his shitbitch's. He treats his Shitbitch's like shit and demands that they give him his shitty money; "where's my money ho!? Where's my money ho!? You ow me money ho!" and he's sitting there beating up a member of the IRS with his shitty shitcane.

Instead of snow fights we have shit fights. We make balls out of shit like beetles and then we pile them up like beetles. There's even a kid nicknamed "the beetle" then they finally hurl the shit balls at each other, and you see the black kids always have an advantage because they blend in with everything.

Ever try to catch shit on your tongue? It's impossible, the only way it's gonna happen is if there's a dog at the top of the slide and he's about to shit. But then you're not catching it with your tongue you're catching it with your whole face, not that it's really a problem, you always look like shit. I feel sorry for that black now, he's been told twice that it doesn't matter how much shit he's covered in he always looks the same.

Sometime's you have kids shouting out "I ate yellow shit!" so now eating shit isn't bad enough, now we gotta add lemon flavored piss to the mix too. The only time the naked black kid doesn't have an advantage is if the shit is green, or if it's made of tinfoil. Ever get pelted with shit that has tinfoil in it? It hurts like shit, no matter how you put it, that dog felt pain while taking the shit, now you're feeling pain getting pelted by the shit.

Remember eating candy canes at christmas? The mint soothe's your stomache aches. During the summer we have the shit canes that cause the stomache aches

That's the end of the shit bit.